Why would a friend or family member not use you for their real estate needs?


Okay, this is a tough one for real estate agents it happens more than you may think.  A relative or good friend decides it’s time to buy or sell real estate, they know you’re in the business, but they choose to deal with another agent.

Slap in the face!  Punch in the gut. Knife in the back.  How hurtful. Those are the kinds of feelings real estate agents feel when it happens.  It can be especially hard when you are struggling for business and find it tough, just to put food on the table, let alone pay your bills. 

So why?  What would be some of the reasons for their betrayal?


What would some reasons be that a friend or family member would not hire you?

  • They might feel you are not the best agent for the job.
  • They could have a financial issue that they don’t want you or anyone in the family to know about.
  • Possibly they don’t understand how the industry works with regards to commission and your pay?
  • They are showing their “true colours”.
  • They could be jealous of you and are just not going to give you “that kind of money”.
  • Could it be that they are worried about mixing business with family and didn’t want to jeopardize your relationship?
  • They have no loyalty.
  • They don’t believe in your abilities.

Now what, what are you going to do about it. 

My suggestion comes from my nearly 30 years as a full time licensed real estate agent….. nothing! Just move on! 

You may feel like you want to get revenge and I totally get it.

But in the end, you need to stay positive and get out there and find clients that will want to work with you. 

Believe me, there are hundreds of potential clients out there, hell, even thousands that would be honored to work with you.  

Consider it a blessing.  Count your lucky stars that it didn’t happen.  Imagine the nightmare and drama you may have had to deal with.

And remember, when they come back, begging for you to explain something in their contract or complain about their chosen agent, you get the privilege to tell them, “Oh, I’m so sorry, professionally I can’t discuss or comment on another agent’s business”. 

Then you turn and walk away with a smile on your face.


If you keep in mind these possibilities, it will help you to not get offended when a friend or family member doesn’t hire you for their real estate needs!

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Your turn…

Have you ever felt betrayed when a friend or family member didn’t think to hire you to help them buy or sell their home?

How did you deal with it?

I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments!

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